After

I was listening to the bass from the next door neighbours shaking my wall for the umpteenth time. 9 more days , I thought to myself as I packed the next box. Pax was at his friend's house, and Thaida was cooing at me from the floor, playing with her toys. If I had to live here any longer I'd probably be arrested for murdering her.  After six years of living next to these people, I was beyond done with their refusal to understand that when you turn on a subwoofer, the building shakes. I was so looking forward to moving to this amazing new home that we were lucky enough to get, with a huge yard. My Facebook messenger brought me out of my tiny daydream. Bear.  This is my eldest sister's nickname for me, and she doesn't usually address me as such unless it's serious. ??? I quickly sent back. Chester.  Confused, I stared at the screen. Chester? Like Chester Bennington of Linkin Park? That's the only Chester I know of. But why? What about him? And then...

I am a huge fan of the television show "One Tree Hill". It had a moment in the final season's premiere where one of the characters is driving her children around, trying to get them to sleep, that she said something that hits home. "Sometimes my heart aches at how my life turned out, in a good way. It doesn't mean there haven't been hardships, there have been. But I'm here, and here is good." I often think of this quote as I drive around, be it with my own sleepy children in the back seats of the vehicle, or as I drive home with music blaring by myself after work. I love my town. I love the twinkling lights in the winter, and the glow off the snow when we are fortunate enough to get that cursed, white fluff around Christmas time. I love the fresh evening air when the windows are down on a summer evening, and the smell of rain as it washes away the dirt after an extended heat wave. I love the colours of the sky as the sun starts to reach the horiz...

"Did I stutter?" he said to me, point blank. I was two months in to the 2006 tour. Joe was on his leave, and already it was proving to be an exciting one for him. I, personally, had resigned myself to the fact that I was still a month and a half away from seeing my boyfriend, so my life consisted of me getting up at a ridiculous hour, busing to a job I hated, going home after and talking to Rob on the computer if I could. I was lucky, because he had a job that gave him more time online than most. "Oh, you certainly didn't, but I am confused as to why I would want to go out to celebrate my boyfriend's birthday when he's not even here. I could be at home talking to him, instead," I answered, taking a sip of my coffee. He had met me downtown after work, at the coffee shop across from the bus stop that we usually met at with Rob. "Okay, but we also need to celebrate my liberation from the tyranny and oppression of that vile woman." Joe and an...

Joe can't be dead, I have dinner plans with Heather tomorrow. These are the random, absurd thoughts that go through one's head when they just find out that one of their best friends has killed themself. Heather. I have to call her and cancel dinner. She's pregnant. I don't want her to worry. This is your best friend in the whole entire world we are talking about. There's no way you can let her know there's something wrong but if you try to text her you'll forget. Shit, shit, shit.  I took a deep breath and hit the call button. I was hoping she wouldn't pick up, because it was a lot easier to maintain composure if no one was on the other end to ask you what was wrong. She picked up with her standard, flowery sounding "Hey, what's up," that always made me smile. "Hey. Um...we can't do dinner tomorrow," I said quietly, shakey. The concern very quickly emerged in her voice. "Okay....is everything alright?" It...