Joe
I fell in love at church camp with a boy named Rob who had eyes as green as emeralds. We were sixteen, and he wanted to join the Canadian Army. It was a strange feeling, because here I was convinced I had just met the boy I was going to marry, but...wait, Canada has an army? No, no, clearly I had misheard that because I was going to marry a lawyer, or a doctor...wasn't I?
On July 28th, 2000, I stood and watched as this boy that I had only met a few months prior swore his life away.
"I, Rob (full name here), do swear that I will well and truly serve Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Canada, Her heirs and successors according to law, in the Canadian Forces until lawfully release, that I will resist Her Majesty's enemies and cause Her Majesty's peace to be kept and maintained and that I will, in all matters pertaining to my service, faithfully discharge my duty. So help me God."
I was so proud. I was so naive. I had no idea what this meant for his future, let alone my own. How many times have people witnessed this event and not realized the magnitude of what was happening? I could have been watching him open a bank account.
As the year went on all it really meant for me was that he was gone every Thursday night, along with some weekends. It was strange to not talk to him every day. One year later, I was newly graduated and we had to say our first real goodbye for two months. A month after he got back, September 11th happened, and our world got a bit bigger in the blink of an eye. That evening, we watched the news together, both of us realizing but not voicing that this was going to have a permanent effect on our futures - be them together, or apart.
Two and a half years after that night I met Joe and Pat, who were also in the same unit with the military. Pat was a nice guy, seemingly shy. Joe was a snobbish type, with a quiet sarcasm and wit to match. Joe also wasn't a fan of me. Pat may not have been, but he was a lot more polite about it (and everything) than Joe.
To be honest, I had come to not really like either of them because every time Rob hung out with them, he usually ended up breaking plans with me. I thought they were making him do it. The other side of that story was Joe and Pat thought that I felt Rob couldn't ever hang out with them, that I was more important. Turns out it was really just Rob not being a strong communicator, so with the air now clear, Joe, Pat, and I formed a friendship, and a short time after that Rob, Joe, and myself moved in together.
Rob worked early shifts. I worked late sometimes, so I would get home to a sleeping boyfriend. Joe didn't really go to sleep early, so he was often awake when I got home. We lived in this small apartment that overlooked the river, so at night we would sit outside, drink tea and just talk. I adored his insight on things, and our friendship very quickly became sibling-like. Joe wouldn't always be gone with the army when Rob was, so it was in those moments we built the foundation of us.
It wasn't, however, until December of 2005, that I realized just how profoundly connected we were.
In October of 2005, just after moving in to a new apartment with Rob, he dropped the "I'm going to Afghanistan" bomb on me. No discussion, he detached himself from me and headed off to Edmonton for his work-up training with Joe and Pat. I was gutted and confused. Weren't we building some sort of life together? I knew he was in the army, but doesn't leaving for a war zone warrant some sort of discussion with the woman you have professed your love for? Something was going on, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. I turned to Joe, skeptical that he would speak with me about it because of his loyalty to Rob.
"What does your gut tell you?" he asked.
What was my gut telling me? Well, it was telling me a number of things, but this isn't a story about Rob and I. Suffice it to say that if Rob and I were the same people now as we were then, there would never have been a Rob and Sarah in this story.
We had a discussion about how I felt awful coming to him with this, and Joe made is clear that his loyalty was to me. Rob was being an idiot, he said, and he couldn't support his friend when he was treating his little sister in such a way.
"Follow your gut, your gut will almost never let you down. Trust yourself."
It was the best advice he ever gave me.
"I, Rob (full name here), do swear that I will well and truly serve Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Canada, Her heirs and successors according to law, in the Canadian Forces until lawfully release, that I will resist Her Majesty's enemies and cause Her Majesty's peace to be kept and maintained and that I will, in all matters pertaining to my service, faithfully discharge my duty. So help me God."
I was so proud. I was so naive. I had no idea what this meant for his future, let alone my own. How many times have people witnessed this event and not realized the magnitude of what was happening? I could have been watching him open a bank account.
As the year went on all it really meant for me was that he was gone every Thursday night, along with some weekends. It was strange to not talk to him every day. One year later, I was newly graduated and we had to say our first real goodbye for two months. A month after he got back, September 11th happened, and our world got a bit bigger in the blink of an eye. That evening, we watched the news together, both of us realizing but not voicing that this was going to have a permanent effect on our futures - be them together, or apart.
Two and a half years after that night I met Joe and Pat, who were also in the same unit with the military. Pat was a nice guy, seemingly shy. Joe was a snobbish type, with a quiet sarcasm and wit to match. Joe also wasn't a fan of me. Pat may not have been, but he was a lot more polite about it (and everything) than Joe.
To be honest, I had come to not really like either of them because every time Rob hung out with them, he usually ended up breaking plans with me. I thought they were making him do it. The other side of that story was Joe and Pat thought that I felt Rob couldn't ever hang out with them, that I was more important. Turns out it was really just Rob not being a strong communicator, so with the air now clear, Joe, Pat, and I formed a friendship, and a short time after that Rob, Joe, and myself moved in together.
Rob worked early shifts. I worked late sometimes, so I would get home to a sleeping boyfriend. Joe didn't really go to sleep early, so he was often awake when I got home. We lived in this small apartment that overlooked the river, so at night we would sit outside, drink tea and just talk. I adored his insight on things, and our friendship very quickly became sibling-like. Joe wouldn't always be gone with the army when Rob was, so it was in those moments we built the foundation of us.
It wasn't, however, until December of 2005, that I realized just how profoundly connected we were.
In October of 2005, just after moving in to a new apartment with Rob, he dropped the "I'm going to Afghanistan" bomb on me. No discussion, he detached himself from me and headed off to Edmonton for his work-up training with Joe and Pat. I was gutted and confused. Weren't we building some sort of life together? I knew he was in the army, but doesn't leaving for a war zone warrant some sort of discussion with the woman you have professed your love for? Something was going on, and I was determined to get to the bottom of it. I turned to Joe, skeptical that he would speak with me about it because of his loyalty to Rob.
"What does your gut tell you?" he asked.
What was my gut telling me? Well, it was telling me a number of things, but this isn't a story about Rob and I. Suffice it to say that if Rob and I were the same people now as we were then, there would never have been a Rob and Sarah in this story.
We had a discussion about how I felt awful coming to him with this, and Joe made is clear that his loyalty was to me. Rob was being an idiot, he said, and he couldn't support his friend when he was treating his little sister in such a way.
"Follow your gut, your gut will almost never let you down. Trust yourself."
It was the best advice he ever gave me.
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